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Gay and Surrogacy Parenting Journey

Gay Parenting

My husband and I embarked on our surrogacy journey in 2017 and we had been talking about for many years before that.


We had to research and piece together a lot of information. It is a complex journey and I felt it could help other folks to gather this information in one place. This section provides a condensed view of everything we learnt.


Don't hesitate to reach it if you want to know more!

Read About Our Parenting Journey

Surrogacy Journey Infographic
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    Thought leadership plays a vital role in shaping the future of organisations across all industries. By delving into this section, you'll understand the tangible benefits and advantages that thought leadership brings to risk and compliance functions. Explore how thought leadership can enhance decision-making processes, inform strategic initiatives, and drive organisational success.
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    Discover the qualities and characteristics that define a thought leader in risk and compliance. We explore the expertise, knowledge, and innovative thinking required to lead the way in this critical aspect of business management. Gain insights into the mindset and approach that thought leaders adopt to navigate complex regulatory landscapes and mitigate emerging risks.
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    Explore the direct impact of thought leadership on risk mitigation and compliance strategies. Discover how thought leaders stay ahead of the curve by identifying potential risks, implementing robust controls, and monitoring regulatory changes. Learn from real-world examples of thought leadership initiatives that have successfully enhanced risk management and ensured compliance with industry standards.
    The cross-over between Operational Risk, Non-Financial Risk and Compliance: Aligning Capabilities ​ Link -
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  • What does Risk Assessment entail?
    Risk assessment is a systematic process of evaluating potential risks, their likelihood of occurring, and the potential impact or consequences they may have on individuals, organisations, or projects. It involves identifying, analysing, and evaluating risks to determine their significance and prioritise them for appropriate risk management actions. Read more about Risk Assessment
  • What is Enterprise Risk Management?
    Enterprise Risk Management (ERM) is a comprehensive and integrated approach to managing risks across an entire organisation. It involves the identification, assessment, response, monitoring, and reporting of risks in a coordinated manner to enhance decision-making, improve performance, and protect the organisation's value and stakeholders' interests.
  • What is Risk Culture
    Risk culture refers to the values, beliefs, attitudes, and behaviours within an organisation regarding risk management. It encompasses the collective understanding and approach that an organisation takes towards identifying, assessing, prioritising, and managing risks. A strong risk culture is essential for effective risk management, as it influences how employees at all levels of the organisation perceive and respond to risks.
  • What is a Risk?
    "Risk is the effect of uncertainty on objectives. It is the potential for events, either internal or external to the organisation, to cause harm to the organisation's ability to achieve its objectives and execute its strategies successfully." Source: ISO 31000:2018 - Risk management guidelines
  • What is Risk Management?
    "Risk management is the coordinated activities to direct and control an organisation with regard to risk." Source: ISO 31000:2018 - Risk management guidelines
  • What does Risk Mitigation entail?
    Risk mitigation refers to the process of implementing actions, measures, or strategies to reduce the likelihood or impact of identified risks. It involves taking proactive steps to prevent or minimise the occurrence of adverse events, minimise potential losses, and enhance the organisation's ability to withstand risks.
  • What is an Emerging Risk?
    "New or changing risks that are difficult to quantify and predict, but have the potential to significantly affect an organization, industry, or society and require proactive action." Source: The Institute of Risk Management (IRM)
  • What does Risk Identification entail?
    "Risk identification (RI) is a set of activities that detect, describe and catalog all potential risks to assets and processes that could have negatively impact business outcomes in terms of performance, quality, damage, loss or reputation. It acts as input for actual risk analysis of the relevant risks to an organisation." Source: Gartner
  • What is 3 Lines of Defence?
    3LoD is about segregation of duties (remember Nick Lesson and Barings) and about establishing clear roles and responsibilities for risk and control management. The high-level construct: Operational managers (i.e. the 1st LoD) manage their own risks within the boundaries set by senior management and the Board. Risk, Compliance, etc. (the 2nd LoD) deliver the toolkit to identify and manage risks, monitor these risks, ensure regulatory compliance, and facilitate the escalation of issues / concerns to senior management / the Board as appropriate. The Audit function (the 3rd LoD) provides assurances to the Board that both the 1st LoD and the 2nd LoD functions are doing what they are supposed to. Read more about 3 Lines of Defence
  • Who is the mother?
    There isn't one. But technically, two wonderful women would have helped us to conceive our child: the egg donor and our surrogate. ​ To avoid any ambiguity, we refer to the surrogate as the surrogate woman, not the surrogate mother.
  • Who are the donors?
    We had to find an egg donor and / or a sperm donor. The surrogate does not provide her own egg.
  • What was the response to our surrogacy journey from our friends, family and colleagues?
    Very positive, not to say heartwarming! This is not to say everybody understands the journey and how it works. People need to be explained the process and be exposed to the facts.
  • Who is the father?
    Since we have embarked on the adventure, “who is going to be the dad?” has been the question I have been asked the most. ​ The answer: We both are! We will love and educate and protect our child like billions of parents before us did. Being two dads won’t change that.
  • What would be the relationship of our child with our surrogate?
    It depends, but she will not be the "mother" as we understand it in our society. Our surrogate already has her own family and she wants to help other couple family builds their own family. Many surrogates we spoke to considered the child as an extended family member.
  • Did you choose the sex?
    No and we did not check whether this would be allowed. Technically, I understand it is possible to know the sex beforehand through the so-called Preimplantation Genetic Test (PGT).
  • Risk & Compliance Policy & Frameworks
    Assess, (re)design, roll-out, and embed fit-for-purpose and proportionate risk and compliance frameworks, policies and governance to help you to proactively identify and manage risks, to operate safely and efficiently all the while remaining compliant with relevant regulations. The Objective Help you to mature your risk and compliance management capabilities, systems and oversight whilst strengthening your license to operate
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  • Compliance
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  • What is the definition of Compliance Risk?
    "The risk of legal or regulatory sanctions, financial loss, or reputational damage that an organisation may suffer as a result of its failure to comply with laws, regulations, rules, related self-regulatory organisation standards, and codes of conduct applicable to its activities." Source: adapted from the the Basel Committee on Banking Supervision (BCBS)
  • What is the definition of Strategic Risk?
    Strategic risk refers to the potential for adverse outcomes resulting from the formulation and execution of an organisation's business strategies. It encompasses risks associated with the organisation's strategic decisions, competitive positioning, market dynamics, technological changes, and other factors that can impact its long-term success.
  • What is the definition of Financial Risk?
    "Financial risk refers to the possibility of losses or reduced profitability arising from uncertainties in financial markets or economic conditions." Source: Investopedia - Financial Risk
  • What is the definition of Non-Financial Risk?
    "Non-financial risk refers to the risk that arises from sources other than financial exposures, such as strategic, operational, compliance, and reputational risks." Source: Deloitte - Non-financial risk management: Establishing discipline
  • What is the definition of Operational Risk?
    "Operational risk is the risk of loss resulting from inadequate or failed internal processes, people, and systems or from external events." Source: Basel Committee on Banking Supervision - Sound Practices for the Management and Supervision of Operational Risk
  • What is the definition of Liquidity Risk?
    "The risk that a company, bank, or other financial institution may encounter difficulty in meeting obligations associated with its financial liabilities, either as they fall due or at reasonable cost." Source: International Monetary Fund (IMF)
  • What is the definition of Risk Events?
    A risk event framework is a structured approach used to categorise and analyse specific risk events that have occurred or could potentially occur within an organisation. It helps in understanding the causes, consequences, and patterns of risk events, enabling proactive risk management and mitigation strategies.
  • What is the definition of Risk and Control Self-Assessment (RCSA)?
    Risk and Control Self-Assessment (RCSA) is a structured approach that involves individuals or teams within an organisation assessing and evaluating the effectiveness of their own internal controls and identifying potential risks. It is a proactive risk management technique that promotes a collaborative and participatory approach to risk identification, assessment, and mitigation. Read more about RCSA
  • What is the definition of Risk Appetite & Tolerance framework?
    A risk appetite and tolerance framework provides guidance and establishes boundaries for decision-making regarding the level of risk an organisation is willing to accept and tolerate in pursuit of its objectives. It helps organisations define and communicate their risk appetite and tolerance to stakeholders, enabling them to make informed decisions and prioritise risk management, including risk taking, activities.
  • What is the definition of Scenario Analysis?
    Scenario analysis involves creating and analysing hypothetical scenarios to explore and understand the potential impacts of various risk events on an organisation. By considering different future scenarios and their corresponding risks, organisations can develop robust contingency plans and improve their preparedness.
  • What is the definition of Key Risk Indicators (KRIs)?
    KRIs are quantifiable metrics used to monitor and assess the likelihood and impact of specific risks. They provide early warning signs and help organisations proactively identify and manage emerging risks before they escalate. KRIs are selected based on their relevance to specific risks and the organisation's objectives.
  • What is the definition of Business Impact Analysis (BIA)?
    BIA is a process that assesses the potential impacts of disruptions or incidents on an organisation's critical business processes and functions. It helps prioritise risks, identify recovery priorities, and establish business continuity and disaster recovery plans.
  • What is the definition of Stress-Testing?
    Stress testing is a risk management technique used to assess the resilience and stability of an organisation or system under adverse or extreme conditions. It involves subjecting the organisation or system to various stress scenarios to evaluate its ability to withstand and recover from potential shocks or disruptions.
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