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Gay Parenting

My husband and I embarked on our surrogacy journey in 2017 and we had been talking about for many years before that.  We had to research and piece together a lot of information. It is a complex journey and I felt it could help other folks to gather this information in one place. This section provides a condensed view of everything we learnt. Don't hesitate to reach it if you want to know more!

Read About Our Parenting Journey

Gay Parenting and Surrogacy
Frequently Asked Questions

Who is the father?

Since we have embarked on the adventure, “who is going to be the dad?” has been the question I have been asked the most. ​ The answer: We both are! We will love and educate and protect our child like billions of parents before us did. Being two dads won’t change that.

Who is the mother?

There isn't one. But technically, two wonderful women would have helped us to conceive our child: the egg donor and our surrogate. ​ To avoid any ambiguity, we refer to the surrogate as the surrogate woman, not the surrogate mother.

Did you choose the sex?

No and we did not check whether this would be allowed. Technically, I understand it is possible to know the sex beforehand through the so-called Preimplantation Genetic Test (PGT).

What would be the relationship of our child with our surrogate?

It depends, but she will not be the "mother" as we understand it in our society. Our surrogate already has her own family and she wants to help other families to build their own family. Many surrogates we spoke to considered the child as an extended family member. As for our surrogate, she is still very much part of our life several years after helping us to create our family.

Who are the donors?

We had to find an egg donor and / or a sperm donor. The surrogate does not provide her own egg.

What was the response to our surrogacy journey from our friends, family and colleagues?

Very positive, not to say heartwarming! This is not to say everybody understands the journey and how it works. People need to be explained the process and be exposed to the facts.

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